In Honor of Karen Ann

An Angel That Was Taken Too Early

Five years ago, on Valentine's Day, I lost my best friend, who was also my mother, Karen Ann. 

For over a year, I was in a mindless state of grief. However, I know she absolutely hated it when I was unhappy. So after a couple years of therapy and much dedication to my writing career, I've become more functional. After all, mom wouldn't be proud of me if I remained a miserable ball of sadness. 

Still, the grief never leaves me. It's an open wound that strikes me with crippling pain. Every once in awhile, out of nowhere, I find myself crying in my car from missing her so bad. It's always worse during Christmas, which was her favorite, Mother's Day, her Birthday, and of course, Valentine's day.

She never stopped believing in Santa.

The first one I got ridiculously drunk and cried like a baby. The next few I spent curled up in bed, unable to face the day. But as I said before, Mom really hated it when I was sad. She always made extra efforts to cheer me up. We usually snuggled on the couch and watched movies. So I started honoring her memory by watching her favorite movies. One year my brothers and I had a Nightmare on Elm Street marathon. Another year I did a wacky combo of First Wive's Club, Total Recall, Terminator 2, and Ever After.

Yes, Mom had delightfully eclectic taste in movies and she passed it on to me. 

This year, movies aren't enough. It's not enough to distract myself from missing her. I wanted to do something to honor the woman who nurtured my creativity and encouraged my dreams. I wouldn't have become a successful writer if not for her. Even now, as I fight back tears, I can see mom shaking her head at me and tears coming to her own eyes because my pain is her pain. 

I want to picture her smiling, like this.

Even though I can never erase the grief from Valentine's day, I can mitigate it. I chose to release my novel WRENCHING FATE and have a fun online release party with all my friends. Then later I'm even going to try to celebrate Valentine's Day as a holiday and watch EVER AFTER with the nicest guy I know.

I'll probably still cry a little, but I'm going to do my best to make it a happy day and make my mom proud. And every book I write, I dedicate to her. I still remember when I first got her hooked on romance novels, and I hope there are books in heaven. 

Afterward, I'm going to start another book. Because she didn't get a happily ever after in real life, I'm going to create as many as I can as long as I live.

Analyzing 8 Common Romance Themes

As with my other analysis posts, I am not a psychologist, I just like to find the reasoning behind everything. My mom's trademark scold to me was: "Brook, stop being so f*cking analytical!" Damn, I miss her.

Anyway, one cannot help but notice many regular themes in romance novels, and many of those stand out because they are often unrealistic. I'm not writing this post to defend or attack these themes, I'm just pointing out my theories in their appeal to readers.

1.) Virgin Heroine (unless it's a historical): Many women regret their first time...especially if their first time was with a total jackass. I believe the virgin heroine fulfills the readers fantasy of having the first time be with THE ONE.

2.) Extremely Beautiful Heroine: Okay, I have a cynical theory and a optimistic one. Cynical: Society is so fixated on physical appearance that it could be hard to believe the hero would fall for an ugly heroine. Optimistic: Maybe the heroine isn't that beautiful in society's standards...but the hero sees her that way.

3.) Naive Heroine: I must stress, Naive, not TSTL (Too stupid to live). I believe the appeal of such a character is to give a breather from the jaded people we know, including ourselves. It's fun to learn new things and see the world from a fresh perspective. I also enjoy watching a character grow.

4.) Gorgeous Hero:
A.) The reader may be turned off by an ugly hero. Of course it's all in the imagination of the beholder. I thought those hairy, "porn-stached" heroes from 80's romances were repulsive.

B.) Remember back in high school when all the girls swooned over a certain guy? (In my case I never did because I'm not into the tan-blond-pretty-boy look) Anyway, I believe the "gorgeous hero" fulfills the fantasy of the reader landing such a paragon.

5.) Rich Hero: One cannot argue that one of the biggest fights in a marriage is about money. With the rich hero, this issue is nullified. Also, it's so much easier to focus on adventures and sexual chemistry if the characters aren't slogging through a 40+ hr work week and panicking about bills. The reader deals with that enough in real life.

6.) Alpha Hero: I've touched on this subject before in my post, "Alpha or A-hole?" But I didn't speculate much on the appeal of such a hero. I think a lot about my paternal grandparents' marriage. She totally wears the pants and I remember once asking her what would happen if she wasn't able to cook every meal. "Well, I think he could figure out how to make a sandwich," she replied tentatively. ::sigh:: It makes me even more appreciative that my man can cook and does it well. Still, I run the show most of the time. (Shhhh...don't tell him!) From a reader perspective, it's a nice vacation to see the man take charge and do things for a change...as long as he isn't being a bullying prick about it.

 7.) Characters with extraordinary jobs: Who wants to read about Harold the accountant, or Susan the Wal Mart greeter? Rock stars, Navy Seals, Spies, Vampire Lords, and Alpha werewolves are just so much more fun and fiction is a great place to find 'em.

8.) "Magic Hoo-hah" and "Mighty Wang": Thanks so much to the ladies at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books for educating us on those lovely terms. Okay, they called the first "Hoo-hoo" but I prefer Hoo-ha for inexplicable reasons...maybe it just sounds more cheerful. Again, I have to be cynical on the basis for their popularity. In today's jaded society, it seems rare for couples to remain faithful to each other. But with a "magic hoo-hah" or "mighty wang," your partner would never dream of straying to another after experiencing such greatness.