Friday, March 18, 2011

Crazy Things Writers Hear

My internet was having trouble yesterday and is still acting up, so I hope this post goes through. :)

We writers are strange people, I won't argue that. Between our research and stories, we can get into some crazy topics. Even then, the things that come out of a non-writer's mouth can make me bury my head in my hands.
I figured I'd share a few and hopefully get to hear some of yours.

1.) When you make your zillions... (Fill in blank, anything from buy me a car to loan me money)? Actually, the 1st time I heard this one was at the IRS office of all places.

That one goes hand in hand with
2.) "Don't forget us little people." I don't know if it's the belief that I'll become an instant celebrity that bugs me more, or the assumption that if I did, I'd become an arrogant, ungrateful jackass.

3.) I have an idea for a story...maybe you can write it and we can split the money. So I do all the work, putting out a story that likely won't be good since its not my idea...and you just sit back and get paid?

4.) You're still on your computer? Well, yeah. This book isn't going to write or promote itself.

5.) Why don't you write (fill in opposite genre)? Romance and horror authors probably get this more than anyone else.

6.) It's not published yet? (Said a week after the first draft is complete, and every day thereafter.)

7.) So, you're agent's going to publish your book?

8.) You're letting people read it? Aren't you afraid someone will steal your idea? 

9.) Hey, could you put me in your book? Besides the legal implications....

10.) This was a real conversation. I am not exaggerating it.
 "Where do I find a publisher?" 
I hand him a copy of the WRITER'S MARKET and recommend finding an agent first. "First you need to send a query letter."
"Can't I just call them and tell them my idea and then when I write it...." 
I shake my head "You need to have a complete manuscript first." 
His eyes widen. "Well, I need them to like the idea and buy the book first. I don't have time to write."


  1. Bua ha ha ha. I've definitely heard some of those. Last night a friend was like, "you're still going to be friends with me when you're rich and famous, right?" I had to laugh... and then I said no.


    Love the last one. You mean it takes ACTUAL work? Ha.

  2. the worst thing I hear is my friends talking about how one person will buy my book on Kindle and then just share it (read: piracy)

  3. OMG, that's horrible! That's worse than strangers expecting you to give them a free signed copy.