Attack of the Plot-Moppets: 5 Reasons I Don't Have Children in my Romances

Nope, don't want em at all.

The lovely ladies at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books have a hilarious glossary which features nifty terms for common things found in romance novels.


Today I wanted to discuss the "Plot Moppet: a small child who has no purpose or development except to drive the plot forward. (Coined and defined by Red Headed Girl)."


And this is one of the reasons I don't care to read about such characters, much less write them. But here are my other reasons:


1.) I read romance to take a vacation from children. I'm a mother of three and although parenting is rewarding, it can be very stressful. Enjoying a three hundred page break from them is a dearly needed breather.


2.) Kids are messy and bratty in real life. But many romance novels seem to pretend they're perfect angels. I can only suspend my disbelief so much. And I try to be realistic in my writing, so why would I want to write about kids destroying the heroines favorite things and giving her a headache with their squabbling?

And sometimes, they're pure EVIL!

3.) Kids are a buzz-kill on the "mood." Yeah, I know where babies come from, but that doesn't mean it's hot when the tot gets in the way during "sexy-times." Of course most of the books I read handle this with the kid conveniently going to bed without protest or being hauled away by a nanny. Which again brings me to frustrated disbelief.


4.) Most of my heroes are vampires and my vampires are sterile. So I don't have to worry about it for most of my books....until my Urban Fantasy series in which there are some disturbing scientific breakthroughs in vampire reproduction. But I'll handle that when it happens.


5.) Most romances feature heroines who want to become mothers and I want to write for those who do not. I believe the genre sometimes neglects these women. I believe there should be moppet-free stories for them too.