Sexual Objectification of Men in Romanceland: Part 2

Sorry for the delay, all. I've been busy working on another project (non-writing) that will be unveiled on Wednesday.

Okay, so in the last post we covered: YES, we romance readers definitely objectify men sexually...but that it isn't really a bad thing as I believe it supports gender equality....oh, and I threw in some hot eye candy as well. How did I forget that?

Now where was I... I need caffeine.

Oh yeah, today's post is how we do it better.

Point One: We lust after men with a variety of  appearances whereas the media seems to objectify on one type of woman.

I think they have serial numbers instead of souls.

Here's a pic of some lucky lady with a group of cover models.

Something for everyone here. I call dibs on the one with the long hair.

Point Two: We also care about the guy's personality and accomplishments. When all the guys are lusting after  (insert starlet name here), do they really care about what she does or how she feels about, well, anything? Now when romance fans are discussing books, you'll here things like: "Oooh that cover's yummy. Is it any good?" "Not really, the hero was an asshole/ moron. Try (insert title). The hero was hot...and sweet/ brave/smart/funny."

Point Three:  We welcome baggage. The media always bitches about women having "too much baggage." I dislike a drama queen as much as the next person, but it seems "baggage" has become a blanket term covering everything from life experience, to emotion, to even the slightest hint of a personality. It's like they want women to be cyborgs. 

Resistance is futile.

In romanceland we embrace heroes who'd been abused as children, heroes who've been emotionally traumatized by some other bitch (who hopefully gets what she deserves later in the story), heroes who've been physically tortured, etc.

Final point and summary: Although we lust after a hot romance hero, we also see him as a human being, with unique virtues and flaws. Romance heroes, as well as men in general, are all individual human beings. It makes the concept of falling in love (and lust) always fresh and exciting, no matter how many books we read.

 

Romance Resource: The 5 Love Languages

So, not only did I miss yesterday's blog post, I also didn't meet my goal in completing my overhaul of BITE ME, YOUR GRACE. :( My friends and family had enough of me being Ms. Reclusive Writer and wanted me to be social this weekend, which was fine. I could get back to work on my WIP on Monday.

...But then I got heatstroke. Heatstroke! ME! I'm the one who turns blue under 70 degrees! I'm a lot better today, but I still have a splitting headache.

Anyway, on to the post.

My latest crit buddy pointed out a big issue in my MS: The hero seems to only express lust for the heroine. There was little to indicate any deep emotional connection. To deal with this, I found an awesome resource: The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman People express love in many different ways and this book breaks it down with convenient simplicity.

Here are the 5:

1.) Words of Affirmation: We all know that in most romances, the hero is often reluctant to say "I love you" until near the end of the story. Still, he could compliment her, not only on her beauty, but on her actions: i.e. "Your paintings are exquisite." "I can trust your reasoning in this matter," "Etc."

2.) Quality Time: Aside from romantic walks on the beach and sensual candlelit dinners, the hero and heroine could do some activity that is new to the other. In one of my favorite books, the heroine gets the hero to get up at the crack of dawn to go fishing. At first, he's all grumbly about it, but eventually they have a wonderful time.

3.) Receiving Gifts: To quote the book, "A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look, he was thinking of me," or "She remembered me." Flowers and jewelry are often in romance novels, but it's the unique ones that resonate more. I got all melty when a hero from one of my stories presents the heroine with her favorite book.

4.) Acts of Service: In WRENCHING FATE, my heroine repairs the hero's car. Her justification is that she likes working on cars, but the pleasure she gets from his gratitude leads me to believe her intentions went deeper. Later, the hero gets her mentor a lawyer so he can get out on parole a little sooner than expected.

5.) Physical Touch: This is usually the most prominent Love Language in the romance genre, I know it's one in mine. But think how many non-sexual touches convey love. Anything from a friendly hug to holding hands can strengthen your characters' bond.

This book can be a priceless resource in your work.

What is your hero's "Love Language?" What is your heroine's. How do these conflict and how can they blend?